Homeless in Adelaide . . . not what you’d expect
Monday, April 30th, 2012 /

Before you freak out, I’m ok. This post is not about me. It’s about those people commonly referred to as bums.

The word bum is (also) a synonym of the word vagrant, which is a person without a settled home or regular work who wanders from place to place and lives by begging. However, for some reason, the word bum now has a very negative connotation and is often used as an insult, when in reality, is just a word that describes people who have fallen and have not been able to get back up. That’s not an insult. That’s a tough life.

Anyway, you won’t find many bums in Adelaide. You will find DRUNKS in the city centre, especially at night near Hindley Street, but chances are they’re neither homeless nor jobless.

Now, the real homeless people, the ones who often sleep in the street, are few and far between.

There is, however, one bum who happens to hang out where I park my car at work. He’s in his high thirties and for the most part, seems to be in a fairly good shape. He doesn’t smell of alcohol, so I have some respect for the guy. He smokes a lot, though, and looks very sad. It breaks my heart every time I see him because it’s a guy who, under different circumstances, could actually have a shot. This is perhaps true for many other bums, but since this guy is neither an alcoholic nor a junkie (at least it doesn’t look like he is), all he seems to need is a bath, a shave, and hope.

Almost every day, I see him in the morning taking his spot by my car, and then, when I leave work in the afternoon, he’s exactly in the same spot. Nine hours go by and the guy doesn’t move an inch.

I once tried to give him some spare change, but he rejected it. Today, I had a better idea. I thought, “Well, maybe he’s too proud or too ashamed to take money. But he must be hungry!”

All excited, thinking that this time he’d actually take me up on the offer, I decided to give him a chicken salad I had bought for lunch. But I wasn’t just going to give it to him. I wanted to give him the chance to accept it gracefully and without shame, so I told him, “Hey buddy, would you like some lunch? It’s good food, I haven’t even touched it.”

But again, without saying a word, he rejected my offer. :(

PART DEUX

A few months ago, on my birthday, I found another bum going through the trash cans in the alley behind my office building. I had a box of chocolates that my office mates had given me, so I offered it to the guy. He hesitated to accept it, but it was obvious he wanted it. Again, I sensed a hint of pride (or perhaps shame) coming from him, so before he could come up with a good excuse to not accept it, I told him, “Come on man, don’t be shy! These are delicious and I have to watch my sugar. Do me a favour and accept them, will you?”

He smiled back at me and said, “Oooh, Haighs! That’s good chocolate right there, the kind that just melts in your mouth.”

He then started talking. The poor guy. It must have been a long time since anybody looked him in the eye and engaged him in a friendly way.

I was impressed by how well he communicated. He had good vocabulary and spoke with the confidence of a businessman. For some reason, we started talking about Australia Day and he talked about his indignation about the fact that it’s often not proper to wish people a Happy Australia Day out of fear of offending them, either because they’re foreigners or because they’re aboriginals. He was like, “Everyone here is either a foreigner or an aboriginal, so if you can’t say happy Australia Day to them, then WHO can you say it to? There’s no one left!”

He made a darn good point.

After talking like pals for about five minutes or so, we bid each other farewell and wished ourselves a happy Australia Day.

I never saw him again.

Next time you see a bum, think of a box of chocolates . . . without a cover. That’s life. You never know what you’re going to get.

Category: First Impressions, Lifestyle  Tags: , , ,  Leave a Comment
Surfers Paradise: a top-class destination for your vacations in Australia
Friday, April 13th, 2012 /

Last February, my little piece of heaven and I went on vacation to the Gold Coast. We spent nine days there, mostly around Surfers Paradise.

On a past post titled, About the Gold Coast . . . and the myth of cheap airfares, I talked about the expectations I had and the average cost of Australian air fares.

My expectations were pretty much right on point, except for the bit about the city being more similar to Adelaide than it would be to Orlando.

First of all, let’s make this clear ASAP. Surfers Paradise is NOTHING like Adelaide. NOTHING AT ALL. Surfers Paradise is basically Miami, but without the tramps, the trash, the crime and the traffic. So, imagine Miami, but only the beauty of it. Calling it Surfers “Paradise” is not an overstatement. It’s truly something special.

Have you never been to the USA? That’s ok. I’m sure you’ve watched CSI Miami, so all you have to imagine is the aerial shots they always do on helicopter (minus all the killing), and you’ll get a pretty good idea of how beautiful Surfers Paradise is.

The buildings are tall and mostly new. By tall, I mean 40-50 stories high and they’re a pleasure to look at. Not many people can afford to live in them, though (China, anyone?). Most apartments are owned by vacationers. Most of the locals live in the outskirts.

Get ready to live like me the life you were meant to have!

At the Gold Coast, we felt rich. Not just because everything was sparkly and designed to the highest standards, but because we actually felt we’d never run out of money.

We stayed at the Hilton and dined wherever we wished. No matter how nice or how “expensive” a place would look, we’d go in knowing that we’d have a delicious meal that wouldn’t break the bank. Lunch time menus there are the bomb! Most places offer incredible meals between $10 – $12 during lunch time. These meals typically consist of a generous portion of rump steak with fries and a salad. A drink is often included as well. We miss that.

One night, I took my wife to Jupiters Casino. We checked out the machines, but they were too repetitive, complicated, and the odds were impossible. Nothing like Vegas (that’s the problem when you’re used to the best; nothing else ever meets your standards).

The Casino’s bar had a night of stand-up comedy, but the place was packed and the only ones standing up would be us, not the comedians. So, I made a quick call to CorporateLimousines.com.au (I had booked a limo earlier) and within minutes, the extremely courteous English driver showed up, rolled out the red carpet, opened a bottle of champagne, and took us sightseeing to Broadbeach, the high-class suburb of the Gold Coast. While it wasn’t part of the standard limo tour, by our own request, the driver took us on an outstanding real estate reconnaissance trip around the nicest areas. It was a delightful tour and it cost about as much as two taxi rides to the airport.

As you can tell, I’m not just good at filling out immigration forms. I’m also an expert at travelling large on a budget.

We rented jet skis, went on a thrill ride on a high-speed V8 jet boat, visited two theme parks, went to an amazing show, dined with class, spent our evenings at the hotel’s spa, you name it. These are things you wouldn’t dream of doing here in Adelaide, but at Surfers Paradise, they’ll be in your menu . . . and if you’re resourceful, you can do it all for peanuts.

Stay tuned for my next post where I’ll tell you what, where, and for how much.

Enjoy the pics!

Category: Entertainment, First Impressions, Photos (Adelaide & More)  Tags: , , , , , , , , ,  3 Comments
A quarter million dollars for your child’s education
Saturday, April 07th, 2012 /

Earlier this year, a friend of mine referred me to a brief article published by AdelaideNow.com.au which stated that education-related expenses, such as school fees, extra-curricular activities, travel, clothing, necessities and computers, would total $255,942 for children sent to an independent school in Adelaide.

“Across Australia’s capital cities, schooling costs for a child born in 2012, including kindergarten, reaches up to $428,723 at independent schools, $212,920 at Catholic schools and $65,829 at public schools.”

Click here for the original story.

I’m usually witty on my posts, but I’m going to keep this one serious, because it’s a difficult topic that everyone feels very strongly about. I personally haven’t made a decision yet as to whether or not I would send my children to a private or public school. Frankly, I could support either choice, but upon first consideration, I probably would want to send them to a private school first, then to a public one, and then to a private one again to get them ready for university.

Kindergarten

On the one hand, I feel that kindergarten lays the foundation for a child’s future success or failure in any type of school system, but most importantly, it lays down the foundation they need as individuals and as members of our society. Some people, on the other hand, believe that kindergarten is plain stupid, and that to send one’s child to a private institution at such an early age is a waste of money. “Cutting with scissors and doodling with crayons hardly constitutes an education,” they’d say.

What these people don’t realise is that children don’t go to school alone. There are other kids there. Not only that, but those kids have parents. Now, would you like to send your own toddler to a school where he’s going to learn his very first social skills surrounded by children raised by bikies, alcoholics, and people living on social security? Do you want your children to ask you for help when they need it, or would you rather have them scream, cry, pull your hair and kick you in the shin instead? Would you prefer your child’s first words to be the “I love you” they learned from you or the “f@ck you” they learned from classmates who learned it from their parents?

Primates, just primates

Children learn just as chimps; by imitation. A child may learn faster than a chimp and their ability to learn may not peak as early as a chimp’s, but the process is the same. So, your children will learn as much, if not more, from their classmates as they will from YOU, no matter how you raise them. If I’m a cow in a farm, I’ll learn more from other cows than I will from horses. Why? Because I’m a cow and I will instinctively imitate what other cows do. By the same token, children will learn from other children by imitating their behaviour.

While education begins at home, by sending toddlers to a private school, you at least can filter out much of the rubbish they would otherwise learn from children who come from underprivileged families. Parents who send their children to private schools have a much higher income than those who don’t, and this right here, is deterrent number one.

Cash = Smarts

Parents with a higher income are GENERALLY smarter (and so are their children). They communicate better and care enough about their offspring to want to give them the best education possible. Their children will GENERALLY learn their first communication and social skills at home, with parents who love them dearly, who don’t curse at each other, who don’t beat each other, and who don’t drink themselves to sleep every night. These kids will GENERALLY not have witnessed a police officer knock on their door to take daddy for a ride after beating on mommy. These children will GENERALLY communicate with other kids either verbally or with hand signals, and will GENERALLY play well and share with one another.

At this point in time, children are not paying attention to the clothing of their classmates and will not segregate each other based on race, origin or social class. So, at this age, I would very much like to be able to send my kids to a private school to take away much of the frustration they would otherwise go through in an overcrowded public school where they would get little individual attention, if any. It would also make my life easier as a parent as I wouldn’t have to spend half my day UNTEACHING everything they learned in school and reteaching it right.

Don’t get too used to it

Now, once my children have learned to read and socialise well, I would probably prefer to send them to a public school instead; mainly to keep their feet well-planted on the ground. A public school would give them the opportunity to mingle with kids not just of every possible social class, but also from every ethnic and religious background. This is very important to me and will be much more important to them. These are advantages that unfortunately a private school would not give them, because let’s be honest, the vast majority of children who attend private schools are white, Anglo-Saxon Christians . . . and my children will be anything but that. The last thing I would want is for them to believe that everyone in the world is represented by that demographic, when in fact, it’s the exact opposite. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” as Jerry Seinfeld would put it, but I will not participate in the segregation of the heirs of my throne. We live in a multicultural world and I will raise my children with that in mind.

Then, in high school, as they start getting ready for university, I could go either way, depending on where we live. If we manage to live in a good neighbourhood with good schools, chances are our teenage children will be just fine in our neighbourhood’s public institution. This would certainly be the ideal scenario, but of course, everything could change in a heartbeat depending on what our own children want by then, as they will have a say in all of this.

Wealth

Oscar Wilde started his great work, The Model Millionaire, with the following words:

“Unless one is wealthy there is no use in being a charming fellow. Romance is the privilege of the rich, not the profession of the unemployed. The poor should be practical and prosaic. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. These are the great truths of modern life . . .”

Great truths indeed. So, when parents come up to me with the issue of which type of school to send their children to, I tell them to send them to whichever school they can afford. If money is an issue, send them to a public school. If money is not an issue, then send them to a private school. It’s plain and simple. Unless you are wealthy, you don’t have a choice.

Does it matter?

I know lots of people who went only to public schools who became happy, successful, loving human beings. I also know lots of people who went only to private schools and became that too. I know lots of wealthy people who had horrible parents and lots of poor people who had wonderful parents. So, anything can happen in any environment. There’s no question about that.

But my point is that we, the parents who are in the financial position to even consider sending our children to a private school, can choose on which field to fight our battles… and in the end, that is the difference money makes, not just in education, but in everything in life.

If you can’t afford it, don’t waste your energy debating this issue.

Choice is the privilege of the rich.

Category: Cost of Living, Lifestyle  Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,  Leave a Comment
Applying for Permanent Residency (Visa 887)
Sunday, April 01st, 2012 /

On March 17, 2010, we arrived in Australia on a State Sponsored Skilled Migrant Visa Subclass 475. This is the visa that most people that come to South Australia arrive on. It is valid for 3 years and gives you the right to live, work and study in a specified regional area.

In a post I wrote last August, I mentioned that the amount of people LEAVING the state was greater than the amount of people ARRIVING. That’s the reason most people who come to South Australia arrive on this visa; because South Australia is a state with a lot of interstate emigration (thus, they’re more willing to bring people from overseas).

If you’re a temporary resident with a 475 Visa, you must meet the following criteria in order to be able to apply for permanent residency (Visa 887):

  • Live TWO full years in a specified regional area (in our case, anywhere in South Australia)
  • Work full time for ONE full year in ANY profession (this is cumulative, meaning that you would also meet this requirement if you work half-time for 2 years)

These requirements must be met by the PRIMARY applicant. So, if your spouse hasn’t been employed for a full year, it’s ok. You can still apply provided that YOU have met the criteria.

Pretty easy, huh?

So, exactly two years after our arrival, we already had everything we needed and went online to submit our application ourselves. Some people “like” to pay about $2,000 to shift the responsibility to someone else, but I’m the kind of person who seizes the bull by the horns. Also, giving away two grand for something that only takes about half an hour seems like a ridiculous waste of money, but then again, that’s just me.

Related posts:
Immigration lawyers: a case study
Immigration lawyers: beware of these pirates

That is, of course, if you:

  • Are computer literate
  • Are able to follow simple instructions
  • Know how to fill out a form
  • Kept records of your original visa application (the one you submitted to come to Australia)
  • Have a scanner
  • Know how to work with different file extensions, know how to keep file sizes reasonable, and know how to merge PDFs

For me, these are skills that any 8-year-old should already have. But it’s true. Many professionals out there still think that HTML is an abbreviation for HOTMAIL.

If you’re laughing at what I just said, you’ll be fine. Do the application yourself. If you didn’t get the joke, read no further and pay two grand to an immigration consultant. You’ll need all the help you can get.

UPDATE
If you came to Australia assisted by immigration agents, in other words, if you did NOT make your own application, then applying for permanent residency on your own could prove to be quite challenging.

Links you should visit

This one tells you the file types the department of immigration will accept:
http://www.immi.gov.au/e_visa/general-skilled-migration-attachments.htm

This is where you can start your online application:
http://www.immi.gov.au/e_visa/general-skilled-migration.htm

Important tips and advice:

Police Clearances

You will need a police clearance certificate from the Australian Federal Police (AFP) and any countries where you’ve lived more than one year in the past ten years. If you’ve lived anywhere else in the past ten years, then you’ll already have that police clearance since you would have needed it for your first visa application. Use the same one.

Now, you’ll need the clearance from the AFP and that’s one you won’t have. Fortunately, getting one is very easy. Follow this link for info:
www.afp.gov.au/what-we-do/police-checks/national-police-checks.aspx

Police clearances take an average of TWO WEEKS to be issued (ours arrived exactly two weeks after we sent the request). So, be smart and get your clearances THREE weeks before you can apply for permanent residency. That way, you’ll have all the documents you’ll need by the time you qualify and your application will go through right away.

Scanned Documents

For a scanned document to be accepted, it must be a scanned original in FULL COLOUR. So, make sure that you sign documents like the Statutory Declaration with BLUE INK. Otherwise, it will look black and white and the department of immigration won’t know if it’s an original or a photocopy. This is very important as it will delay your application. Make sure there’s colour in all your scanned documents.

Also, you’re asking for something. So, MAKE IT EASY for them to give it to you. Don’t send them a million documents, images, etc. For every section, send ONE combined PDF, so that they have all the proof they need for that section in one file. For example, to prove that you’ve lived two years in your area, scan a copy of the page of your rental agreement that says when you moved in, a copy of your last electricity bill with the same address, and then merge the two in a single PDF. That single PDF is what you’ll attach to your application to prove that you’ve lived here for two years.

Same thing for all other sections. One PDF for each one, even if that PDF is composed of several scanned documents.

So, how long did it take for our permanent residency application to be processed?

The answer . . . a few minutes. Seriously.

We submitted our application with all the documents we needed, except for the police clearances. Why? Because we didn’t have TripleA007.com to let us know that we needed this beforehand, so we had to get the clearances while our visa application was already underway.

A couple of days later, immigration sent us an e-mail reminding us that they still needed the police clearances, and I replied saying that we had already requested them and that we would pass them on as soon as we had them.

Important: BE NICE when you interact with immigration and BE PROFESSIONAL. This is more important than any job you’ll ever apply for. Act like it.

On the second week, the clearances arrived, I scanned them, e-mailed them to immigration, and MINUTES later, our visas were granted. The next day, we went to our local immigration office and got our passports stamped in under 10 minutes.

Australia rules!

PS: BOOOYAAAA!!!

Category: Immigration  Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,  4 Comments
Where art thou?
Saturday, March 24th, 2012 /

It’s true, it’s true, I haven’t posted in over a month; not because I haven’t had anything to say, but because I’ve been extremely busy with a few exciting projects.

I’ll tell you what they are if WHEN they actually happen. As of now, they’re still in the works.

One of them is our application for Permanent Residency. It’s been two years already and we’ve ticked all the boxes. You shall know what happens as soon as I find out myself. A good unit of measure would be this:

If my blog changes its name to “TripleA in Djibouti”, then you’ll know I got my ass kicked out of here.

Otherwise, you’ll find me here next month with a post along the lines of, “BOOOYAAAA!!!”

Category: Opinion  2 Comments
Goodbye Surfers Paradise
Saturday, February 11th, 2012 /

And so the time has come to kiss our vacations goodbye and return to Adelaide.

Expect these past nine days of fun and bliss to be summarised in a later post.

What to do, how to get around, what to expect, how much to pay, etc.

See you guys later!

Category: Entertainment, First Impressions  Tags: , ,  2 Comments
Australia Day: Shiny Heads & Murky Tails
Wednesday, February 01st, 2012 /

You may have noticed I did not wish you a “Happy Australia Day” last week, and now you may be realising that this year’s post will not be like the one I wrote last year about the January 26 celebration.

If I didn’t blog about this subject earlier is because I actually needed to think about this one carefully.

Everytime you say “Happy Australia Day” in public, you’re basically tossing a coin up in the air, and depening on who’s listening, you may either get heads of approval or tails of rejection. But the one thing that’s certain is that you won’t get both.

Last year’s post still applies, but that’s only the shiny side of the Australian coin; let’s call it heads. This year, I’ll give you tails; the side of the coin that most people choose to lay on the table face down.

Why can’t you just say “Happy Australia Day” and be done with it?

Well . . . it’s complicated.

Australia Day commemorates the arrival of the first invasion fleet of convicts settlers to this vast land inhabited by peaceful indigenous people uninhabited piece of infertile land.

You may now be sensing why saying “Happy Australia Day” may not be as simple as the average Joe may think. For conceited bastards like me those of us who are known for our brilliance, it is unacceptable to remain ignorant about an important subject such as this while you live in this country. So, allow me to enlighten you with . . .

A Short History Lesson

I come from Latin America, and as some of you may know, the Spaniards killed every single Native American who stood in their path after their arrival in 1492. The indigenous men who were stupid naive enough to believe the Spaniards were gods were spared, but were then forced to sit around while their women were viciously raped given a leading role in the creation the deadly hybrid race which paved the way for genetically superior humble beings like me to dominate the blogosphere five centuries later. The Spaniards, in their infinite wisdom, had it all figured out before Columbus’ fleet even left port.

They shoved their religion down the native’s throats at gunpoint taught Christianity to the godless natives, killed their wise elders offered generous retirement plans to their ageing population, and forced invited native women into the beds of evil loving white men.

Slowly but surely, the indigenous population was successfully assimilated either as slaves, helpers, or au-pairs. Children of white men and native women were raised as whites, thus securing their rightful place in the new society with priviledges that no black or native could ever hope for. This new race was known as “blanco-criollo” (Caffe Latte), and the race derived from the mix of a black woman and a white man was known as “Mulato” (Caffe Mocha).

Then, mulatos and blacks (stronger but not very compliant) were mixed with natives (weaker but fully compliant) in an effort to create the perfect slaves. This new race of “Sambos” (Caramel Macchiato), as planned, inherited the attributes of their parents and became indomitable sex machines the favourite slave race.

Sambos then nailed everything in their path mixed with blanco-criollos, natives, whites, blacks and probably even dogs, which explains the multiracial society which now populates all of Latin America . . . as well as our ability to blend in well in other cultures, our high libido, and our bitchy attitude about life in general.

Thanks to the Spaniards’ masterful colonisation of our lands, we Latin Americans are now able to take our nations to war over a soccer game enjoy a decent place in today’s multicultural society.

So, what has this got to do with Australia day?

A lot.

You see, the British did not share the Spaniards’ wisdom. So, rather than assimilating the Australian aboriginals, they isolated them. Then, they had the “brilliant” idea to kidnap their children to “civilise” them, but half-way through their efforts, they were like, “Heck no, this is too hard,” and eventually kicked them all out to the street gave them back their freedom.

After having lost everything, the aboriginals who survived the slaughter, the isolation and the kidnappings, forgot the best of their culture, learned the worst of the British, and were cast out by a society that was then dominated by white supremacists.

Not long ago, a public apology was issued by the Australian government to the aboriginal people for their “mismanagement” as colonists, and while efforts are now in place to help aboriginals fully integrate into today’s multicultural society via a myriad of social programs, school grants, affirmative action legislation, job placement assistance, etc., the damage that’s been done over the years is far too great to go away in the foreseeable future.

Therefore, saying “Happy Australia Day” is viewed by a lot of people as endorsement of what the white invaders settlers did to the Australian aboriginals . . .

. . . which is why aboriginal leaders and sympathisers openly protest every January 26, especially after government leaders go on TV wishing everybody a “Happy Australia Day”.

The photo above shows Prime Minister Julia Gillard being dragged out of a restaurant where she was having lunch with opposition leader Tony Abbott.

While concerns about their security were justified (as the protesters “could potentially” break into the restaurant), her STUPID security detail decided it was smarter to drag her out like a sack of potatoes to shove her into a town car AS IF she was being the target of an assassination attempt. It was irrational, unnecessary, and SHAMEFUL, as the whole scene was caused by the Prime Minister’s own security; not by the protesters.

Día de la Raza

In Venezuela, the day the Spaniards arrived is known as, “Día de la Raza”, or in English, The Day of the RACE. Not because anyone waved a chequered flag as the Spaniards set foot on terra firma, but because of the racial impact their arrival had in the American continent. Therefore, this day is not viewed as a day to celebrate, but simply as a day to acknowledge that we are now a multiracial society because of Columbus’ arrival.

Nobody ever says “happy race day!” where I come from. The government will play a documentary or a movie on TV to commemorate the arrival of the Spaniards and schools will organise plays and musicals about the “first encounter” where the Spaniards gave mirrors to the natives in exchange for gold and precious stones.

Aw, it’s so cute! It’s just like reenacting a hold-up at a convenience store. Parents love it.

The newspaper will have an article or two about the day’s significance to englighten our ignorant masses (who don’t read the newspaper anyway), and of course, the highways will get clogged with hundreds of thousands of vacationers who will head out to the beach to get drunk and shoot at each other, to then post their videos on youtube.

. . . and that’s why people like me choose to live abroad.

Viva Australia.

Category: First Impressions, Lifestyle, Opinion  Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,  One Comment
Open letter to a prospective migrant – Part 2/2
Saturday, January 28th, 2012 /

This is Part 2.

Click here if you haven’t read Part 1 >

CONTINUED FROM PART 1

Survive those first two years . . . and without a doubt, you and your family will be ten times better than you were in your country. But can you last those two years? Do you have enough money to sustain yourself for that time (does $50,000 in savings sound like a lot of money to you? Because let me tell you, life is expensive here and you may not last a year without a job on $50,000 savings).

Is your marriage strong enough to survive the stress of immigration and unemployment, the loss of family and friends and your mother tongue, the fear of your ever-vanishing savings, the high probability of failure, and raising your first baby . . . ALL AT ONCE?

I’m only saying this because I care about you and wouldn’t want you to rush into a life-changing decision that may backfire big time. While you will DEFINITELY have a better life in Australia by MY standards, that doesn’t guarantee that you will have a better life here by YOUR standards, or YOUR WIFE’s standards for that matter. I bet you have a lot of family, and Greeks are the most family-dependent culture I’ve ever known (and while that is a lovely quality for patriots, it is a terrible handicap for migrants).

Now, I strongly recommend you spend a couple of hours of your life reading my posts in this page:

www.triplea007.com/archives/category/immigration/

And don’t forget it’s a blog, so scroll to the very bottom, click the “Previous Entries” link, and read the posts from oldest to newest.

After all, if you’re considering turning your family’s life upside down, then spending two hours getting a clearer picture of whether or not you truly are immigrant material is a wise investment. Few people are cut for this life.

I left my country of birth running away from everything that it represented. I don’t sing our national anthem and can disprove most of the myths of our heroic history which is nothing but a fable written by historians under government pressure. While I liked our old flag, I see the new one with disgust, and my passport is nothing more than a liability to my freedom. I love my country, but the country I consider mine is one that only exists in my heart; the country I could have had if it hadn’t fallen to pieces.

So, needless to say, for me, going back has never been an option. But what I do need to highlight is the fact that all the migrants I’ve met in MY LIFE who have considered “going back” as an option, HAVE GONE BACK, and ended up MUCH worse than they were when they left their country in the first place.

The day I earn my Australian passport will be the second happiest day of my life (and the only reason it won’t be the first is because I plan to have a child before I gain Aussie citizenship).

Now, if you think I’m crazy for saying what I’m saying to you, then you should deeply reconsider whether or not coming to Australia is the right choice for you and your family.

While there are many “successful” migrants who claim to love their country and yaddiyaddiyadda, that’s only because they successfully managed to hate it long enough to survive as immigrants in their new country. Then, after finally having built a good life with enough money to “forget” why they hated their homeland badly enough to want to leave it in the first place, they become patriots again and travel back with their heads held high, even if only to show those who stayed behind the life they’ll never have.

The locals will envy them for being so “lucky” when in fact, luck had nothing to do with it . . . but perseverance, and why not, a little bit of insanity too (because no sane person would willingly jump into a whirlpool of uncertainty).

You’re a good man and you have a lovely family, so I care about your situation. I’ve seen a few newlyweds (some with newborn children) ruin their marriages for migrating when they weren’t ready to assume the pains and responsibilities of becoming a migrant. They simply palced everything they had on a blind bet and ended up shredding their lives to pieces simply because they didn’t hit the jackpot on their first try.

We should never gamble when it comes to our future, much less when our bet will affect the lives of those who depend on us.

NEVERTHELESS, if you’ve reached this far in this letter and are still considering Australia after you AND YOUR WIFE read all my posts in the Immigration Category, then, my friend, you might just have what it takes to make it. This was enough to scare off the bravest.

Now, it’ll only be a matter of meeting the immigration requirements. They’re tough as hell. My wife and I spent SEVEN YEARS IN GREECE, living a very difficult life after having OWNED THE WORLD in the USA, with the sole purpose of building the criteria to be able to come here. SEVEN YEARS of frustrations, bureaucratic battles, uncertainty and despair was our sacrifice to get here.

And it was damn well worth it.

Your friend,

TripleA

THE END

Category: Immigration  Tags: , , , , , , ,  Leave a Comment
Open letter to a prospective migrant – Part 1/2
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012 /

Below is an open letter I wrote recently to a Greek buddy of mine who asked me to help him find a job in Australia. He’s very skilled at what he does and has a very respectable work history. He’s also been married for a couple of years and just had a baby.

The letter pretty much says what I’ve been saying all along in my immigration segments, but since he’s not the first of my friends who doesn’t read my blog who has made this request, and will certainly not be the last, I decided to share it with those of you who are considering leaving your countries. Even if you’re not Greek, my advice is the same.

. . . and if you’re a successful migrant, then you’ve just hit the jackpot. Your reply to such requests can now simply be a link to this post.

START PART 1

So, you want me to help you find a job in Australia? Well, get your butt over here first and then we’ll talk.

Since you insist, and you’re a friend, I will dare to give you the Prospective Migrant speech, which is what I give to everyone who gives me the “Take Me to Australia” speech.

If you really want to come, then it should only take you a couple of months to find out if your profession is in demand, to do your research online, to gather up the requirements, and to send in your application. If you really, REALLY want to come, then you’ll be all over it and will know everything you need to know to qualify, move, and acquire the necessary documents within just two weeks of starting your research. No lawyers needed, no advice needed, nothing. It’s all in Australia’s immigration websites and the information is as clear as water. And if you want the peace of mind of having an immigration expert evaluate your current circumstances and tell you what you’d need to do in order to qualify for immigration, then pay the $399 Express Analysis Service at:

http://www.liveinaustralia.com/home/express_analysis.asp

I cannot recommend it enough.

And next year, you could be here . . . but Australia isn’t a magic solution, and you Greeks cry too much for Hellada, for mana and baba, for papu and yaya, and for your damn frappes (which is not a good thing if you plan to become an immigrant). The key to successful immigration is leaving one’s country with the certainty that you will never, ever, under any circumstances, even consider going back without first getting a migraine and throwing up all over yourself.

If Greece is still an option for you or your wife, or if you so much as consider “returning” if you don’t magically land a job making $100,000 a year within your first 72 hours in Australia (as most people expect), then you’re in for a rude awakening.

If you are unable to tell your family and friends, “Good bye, see you in hell”, then, in all honesty, I wouldn’t recommend you leave Greece for Australia. Go to Norway, Sweden or some other well developed country in Europe that would give you the option to travel back often. But once you move here, then you are here, not there.

Are you and your wife ready to divorce your families? Are you not just ready, but EAGER to never see them again? Are you content with the fact that your son won’t grow up with his grandparents, uncles, and cousins?

I was not only content, but EAGER for these things, which is why I have succeeded as a migrant three times in my life.

Immigration won’t get you a nicer job, a bigger house or a bigger paycheck. In fact, it will often get you the exact OPPOSITE of all those things. You’ll arrive unemployed, having to beg a landlord to allow you to rent a bug-infested 2-bedroom apartment, and when you do find a job a year after you arrived, it’ll be a job you’ll hate making barely enough to sustain your family.

Now, your English is good and I have no doubt you’ll pass the IELTS with flying colours, but is your wife’s English as good as yours? Is her profession in demand here?

END PART 1

Click Here for Part 2

Category: Immigration  Tags: , , , , , , , ,  4 Comments
About the Gold Coast . . . and the myth of cheap airfares
Wednesday, January 18th, 2012 /

It’s been over a year since my wife and I last went on vacation and after considering how many hours we’d waste travelling anywhere abroad, we decided to keep our travel plans inside Australia. It’s a tiny country, but I’d like to believe it has something for everyone.

We considered many places to go to, among which the Gold Coast, the Gold Coast, the Gold Coast, and the Gold Coast were in our list of prospects. Unfortunately, since airfares were so expensive to the Gold Coast this time of the year, we decided we should travel to the Gold Coast instead.

Why the Gold Coast?
Because it’s summer and it’s the greatest tourist destination in Australia! Or so they claim. In fact, they even go as far as calling it, “Australia’s Orlando” because supposedly it’s a tourist friendly city packed with awesome theme parks. Now, I understand how marketing works, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out to have only 4 or 5 parks (and will probably end up being more similar to Adelaide than Orlando). But considering we’re only planning to go for a week, 4 or 5 parks should suffice.

As someone who has never been to the Gold Coast, I am currently at the mercy of my expectations; expectations which have been fuelled by a lifetime of marketing brainwash. So, if you’re on the same boat as I am, thinking of the Gold Coast will invoke slow-motion images of David Hasslehoff Pamela Anderson running semi-naked across the beach. There’s even a suburb called Miami. Expect plenty of photos.

Cheap Airfares
Don’t exist. There are so many hidden fees that I felt like chocking my monitor after I finished booking . . . and that’s considering that I love my monitor I didn’t use Qantas because it was more expensive.

Here is how it works. Jestar, Qantas, or any other airline for that matter, will advertise something like:

Enjoy this summer vacation! GOLD COAST FOR $159.00!!! Including all taxes and fees*

Notice the asterisk. An asterisk basically means that whatever you just read is a lie. A big, fat, shameless lie. I should know. I use asterisks all the time.

Firstly, the $159 will turn out to be a one-way trip. Who on Earth has ever gone on a one-way vacation? That’s not a vacation. That’s immigration! So, in reality, we’re actually looking at $308.00.

As you go through the booking process, you’ll begin to sense that you’ll be nowhere near the advertised price by the time you finish. You are entitled to carry 10kg of cabin luggage (note that any small piece of luggage will weigh at least 3kg). If you wish to check anything in, you’ll be charged $20 extra per flight, for a total of $40.

But wait, there is more!

They will then assign you the most undesirable seats on the plane (you’ll be hanging off the undercarriage), and then give you the “option” to choose your own seats for a fee between $4 and $20 per passenger PER FLIGHT. So, let’s say you picked the cheapest seats of your own choice. That’s $8 more.

Then, they also give you the option to pay $5.00 or so extra to save the planet. No thanks, those bastards are the ones polluting it. Paying extra doesn’t mean that they’ll be using green fuel. They’ll be using the exact same fuel they’d use if you didn’t pay that fee. So, it’s just another one of those “feel good” taxes.

Then, of course, they make you feel guilty for going on vacation and recommend yet another donation for starving children who are being taken care of by an organisation that spends millions of dollars a year in marketing and advertising when supposedly your $20.00 contribution can feed 100 kids for a month. Imagine what those millions could do.

Let’s just skip to the end because this is getting boring fast. Are you ready for this?

THEY WILL CHARGE YOU $30.00 TO PAY YOUR TICKET!!!

That’s right folks! They will CHARGE YOU to give you the PRIVILEDGE to PAY THEM. Credit card, EFTPOS (debit card), paypal, etc. No matter what you choose, $30.00 will be added to your bill . . . unless you decide to make a direct bank transfer using one of the banks they prefer to do business with.

You may wish to use a big bank like HSBC or Citybank, but Jetstar won’t play with those. I bank with Westpac, so I went through the bother of making the manual bank deposit.

The bottom line is that nowadays they’re making you pay for things that used to be included (since nothing in a sale is free) and even use guilt tactics to coerce you out of your budget.

So, if you used your own payment method, didn’t donate, didn’t get travel insurance, didn’t buy access to the airport lounge, and didn’t spend a single dollar on anything extraordinary, then you will have paid a total of $396.00 (159+159+20+20+4+4+30) for that $159 trip that they advertised.

Not so cheap anymore, is it?

But don’t you woooorry,
It’s gonna be all right!
‘Cause I’m always ready,
I won’t let you out of maaaahhh sight!

. . . not!

Category: Cost of Living, Entertainment  Tags: , , , , , , , ,  2 Comments
ANTS!!! . . . and how to get rid of them
Wednesday, January 04th, 2012 /

When mere mortals hear of Australia, the first image that comes to their mind is usually a creature of some sort; a kangaroo, a crocodile, a koala, a white shark, a spider, a snake . . . and when it comes to creepy crawlers, without a doubt, spiders take the cake.

NEVERTHELESS, if you were to ask ME to define Australian wildlife with one word, I’d probably say, “ANTS!”. And if you let me use two words, then I’d probably say, “goddamned ants!”, although technically, you could say that’s three words, but who’s counting?

Ants are by far the most annoying pest with which I’ve had the pleasure of dealing in the magical Land of Oz. No matter how tidy you keep your house, the “goddamned ants” will find their way inside through a 1 millimeter crack in the top right-hand corner of a 4-inch-thick security door plated with unobtainium.

Here in Australia, you know it’s summer when you start taking a deep breath as you open the door to your house after having spent the whole day at work. You take a deep breath because you know, you just do, that you will find something hideous inside, and you’re only praying that you won’t find it in the thousands.

While it’s true that ants are about the most harmless creeters with which you may have to deal in your home, they are also one of the most difficult pests to get rid of (next to your in-laws*). So, I pushed my gatlin gun onto the area of operations, loaded it with spider killer, and sprayed hell all over the path of my enemies. The ones that found themselves in my direct line of fire died instantly (probably from “drowning”), and after spraying half a litre around the cornice of the whole house, the last of the ants finally succumbed to its misery. The next day, the paint of the walls and ceiling was stained from the venom, and the little bastards were back . . . with a whole new army of clones! There was a trail of literally thousands of ants crawling all over the super deadly spider killer that I had sprayed over their path a day earlier, and they were completely immune to it.

So, I prayed to Saint Bunnings for a solution, and boy, did I get an answer! I bought a RAID ant killer spray for $10. The best $10 I’ve spent in mass murder EVER! As opposed to standard bug killer, this one is specially made for ants, and it kills on contact. It’s actually quite a sight. Spray once and you’ll instantly see the ants plunging from the wall to their fiery death below (because, you know, they probably died from the fall, right?). This particular spray also smells delicious. Seriously! I’m not kidding. The house will smell like potpurri, so much that you’ll forget that you’re breathing POISON. Not for long, though, as soon you’ll be coughing your lungs out if you inhale as much as I did. Good stuff though.

I also bought a 3-litre pack of spider killer to replenish my old supply, as well as some other nifty little weapons that will make my uninvited creepy house guests ask Hugo Chavez for amnesty.

That’s something you don’t factor in the budget when you’re planning to move to Australia; how much you’ll be spending every summer on insecticide. Easily, I spend about $300 . . . and in case you haven’t been following me for a while, my house is pristine, so if “I” have to spend $300 on insecticide, that means you’ll probably have to spend at least twice as much . . . unless you like your cereal very crunchy.

Actually, let me rephrase some of that. My house is “usually” pristine. “Usually” meaning whenever I’m the last one to cook or clean. Else, imperfections might survive the audit and that’s when bad stuff happens.

So, the second day I celebrated the 2012 Ant Fest at my place, I completed a more meticulous analysis of the crime scene and this time, I found the reason for the festival. Someone who lives with me, I won’t say who (even though there’s only two of us), had not properly closed a jar of . . . get ready . . . HONEY!!!

Of all the things you can afford to leave open in the house, HONEY is certainly NOT one of them! (followed closely by your mouth, especially if you’re married . . . that’s why I write).

Well, DUH! Of course we’re going to have an entire ant colony moving in with us with an open jar of honey in the cupboard!

Take my advise people, if you can’t lock your wife/children/roomates up in a Tupperware container, then at the very least, leave your HONEY and SUGAR in the fridge. Yes, I know, they don’t “go” in the fridge, but they won’t go bad if you leave them there. Also, keep your dishwasher clean and don’t leave your toaster (with all the breadcrumbs) out on the countertop. Don’t think that hiding it in the cupboard will help either. It won’t. Keep the toaster clean or wash it before it gets too messy. You will regret it if you don’t. Same goes for the microwave.

Now, I hate cleaning. I seriously do. So, I’m cleaning constantly. Not because I like it, but because I hate it so much. I keep everything tidy to make sure I never have to allocate any time at all to cleaning. Washing a dirty toaster is a royal pain in the burger, so if yours is too dirty, just toss it out the window (or drop it in the bin if you happen to have some class . . . though I doubt it if you’re reading my blog). A new toaster will set you back a mere $10-$20 at KMART, so why bother cleaning it? If you don’t clean it, you’ll have to spend that much and more on insecticide after an ant colony of a hundred thousand invades your kitchen.

I’ll leave you with some advice that could SAVE YOUR LIFE from a deadly ant attack should you ever be caught off guard without insecticide of any kind.

BABY POWDER!

That’s right, baby powder repells ants, and I’m quite proud to say I didn’t google that one. I was simply home over the holidays when all stores were closed and I was the innocent victim of a viscious attack by a tactical squad of highly trained ants. I was quietly writing another one of my blasphemous pieces when all of a sudden, I see a trail of ants lining up for their kill (what else could they possibly be doing?). I cleaned them all up with a scented wet wipe to throw them off their trail and manually took care of every single one of them. But I had to do something else to keep them from coming back and baby powder came to my mind spontaneously. I must have jacked into the knowledge of the world thanks to the custom made aluminum foil helmet I was wearing at the time.

I thought, Ants? In my computer room? What are they after? My video card?

But then, after careful examination, the reason for their intrusion became clear. I found a salty piece of POTATO CHIP lying on the carpet next to my PC.

And no, I don’t eat chips in my office. Now you know how it got there.

When I confronted my wife about this heinous act of treason, the explanation I got was:

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?

* I said “your” in-laws. Not mine.

Category: Cost of Living, First Impressions, Wild Things  Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,  3 Comments
Melbourne 2010-2011
Friday, December 30th, 2011 /

And so the time has come to wave 2011 goodbye, but not without first giving 2011 a warm hug and a big thanks for all the good it brought.

To celebrate, I will leave you with LAST YEAR’S photos of my holiday trip to Melbourne.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank you all for being active followers of this blog. I keep it up just for you.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this festive season and I wish you a marvelous 2012!

TripleA

Enjoy!

Category: Photos (Adelaide & More)  Tags: , , , , ,  Leave a Comment
Deutscher Wein und deutscher Sang . . .
Tuesday, November 29th, 2011 /

Ich möchte meine Grüße an mein Deutsch Leser zu schicken.

Seit ich diesen Blog gestartet, haben Sie unter meinen Top-Besuchern.

Ich hoffe auch weiterhin schriftlich Inhalte, die Sie interessiert. Wenn einer von euch zu machen, um Adelaide, nicht schüchtern sein. Sag hallo zu sagen und mir deine Geschichte.

Vielen Dank und wir sehen uns!

Category: Opinion  Tags:  One Comment
Adelaide Speed Limits & Traffic Police
Saturday, November 26th, 2011 /

Last month I talked about police presence being scarce in Adelaide.

As crime is fairly low, their job boils down to two main duties:

  • Maintaining Order
  • Enforcing Traffic Regulations

Maintaining order is just another way of saying, “keeping drunks under control” and enforcing traffic regulations is another way of saying, “booking drivers for reckless driving”.

Speed Limits

At first glance, speed limits in Adelaide seem fairly low, but after you live here a while, you realise they don’t really need to be any higher. Here is a quick estimation as to what you might expect, and this is by no means official:

50kph = residential roads and inside the CBD
60kph = avenues and city highways
70kph – 90kph = avenues and highways connecting suburban areas with more densely populated areas
100kph – 110kph = suburban highways and expressways

64% of all road fatalities in South Australia occur within a radius of 100km from Adelaide, so the top speed limits in this area (also including the Yorke Peninsula) have now been REDUCED from 110kph to 100kph. So far, there have been 51 casualties this year on rural roads, and considering how small South Australia’s rural population is, this number is quite alarming.

Source: PS News

Then again, people in rural areas are notorious for drinking and driving . . . and since it’s nearly impossible for the police to patrol country roads (and country roads are long, boring, and dark), you can see why this number, as alarming as it may be, is not surprising.

All the reduced speed signs will be up by the start of the Christmas season.

Fines / Tickets / Points System

For minor (but common) violations, expect to be fined between $300 to $500, which is less than a week’s salary for a standard job. The smaller of the two would be for something like going 10kph over the limit and the higher one would be for turning on red when you’re only allowed to turn on green.

Under normal circumstances, a speed camera will fine you and you’ll get the bill by mail and no court appearance will be necessary.

As in the USA, here you’re also on a points system. Each traffic violation has a predetermined value associated to it and once you hit a certain point threshold, you could have your license suspended.

Smile, You’re On Candid Radar

Even if you’re the only car on the road in the middle of the desert, that still does not give you the green light to speed. You’ll be tempted, for sure, but highway cops are very different from city cops. Their main job is to keep those roads safe . . . and there’s pretty much nothing else to do, so you can rest assured they’ll be ready for you (if only just to talk to someone).

I’ve been told that cops in desolate highways cover a radius of up to 5km with a combined system of GPS/Radar/Satellite. So, if you speed several kilometers away from a police officer, he will get behind the wheel and go after you. You’ll then see a cop racing towards you (quite possibly from the opposite direction) and flashing his lights at you. He’ll then fine you even if you’re no longer speeding by the time he catches you.

Just as a tree still makes a sound when it falls down in the forest even if there’s no one there to hear it, you can be fined for speeding even if there’s no one there to see you go over the limit.

Undercover Cops

Unlike the USA, Australia does not have a policy of screwing you just for the sake of screwing you. You will not see cops hiding behind billboards and you won’t see speed “traps” planted in strategic locations. What you will see is LAW ENFORCEMENT, PREVENTION, and . . . privatisation?

I use a question mark because I’m not sure privatisation is the right word, but here in South Australia, perhaps due to the low amount of police, special non-police units can park vehicles with speed radars which automatically fine you if you’re going 10% over the limit. However, every morning the locations of these unmarked vehicles are advertised on radio and TV for you to watch out. Again, the point is for you “not to speed”, not to “catch you while speeding”.

Undercover cops are surprisingly common, again, considering the low amount of police overall. I often see cars pulled over to the side of the road getting booked by a policeman driving a civilian vehicle.

In the USA, undercover patrol cars are easy to recognise because they’re basically the same color, make and model as any other patrol car, but without the lights on the roof. Here, however, they look just like any other, with the exception that they all have illegal window tints. The drivers are always in uniform, though.

Now, here is a good tip to avoid getting fined for a traffic infraction:

Don’t commit any.

Category: Cost of Living, Lifestyle  Tags: , , , , , , , , ,  Leave a Comment
Animals = Better Migrants
Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011 /

That’s right. Animals make better migrants. They know why they need to migrate, where they need to migrate, and when they need to migrate. Most importantly, they don’t mock around about it. When it’s time to go, it’s time to go.

They are well aware that their journey ahead will be an arduous one and that many of them won’t make it, but they understand that if they stay behind, they will ALL perish.

You would think that after everything I’ve shared this month, people would be nuts to place their entire future in the hands of others. But you’ll be surprised that in fact, they’re not. What they are is afraid, and people in fear submit to the will of those in power; in this case, their immigration lawyers.

Animals are much smarter than humans in this regard. First of all, they’re experts in immigration and nobody had to teach them. And when they’re afraid, they either run away or attack.

Humans, on the other hand, when afraid, bow their head to their predator and willingly become their prey.

And boy, are we lazy too.

Most people hire immigration lawyers because it is “less troublesome” than going to the Immigration SA website, printing a few forms, filling them out, and sending them via e-mail. Because then, when they fail, they can always say, “those liars tricked me!” And voila, they will have successfully avoided all responsibility for their own failure.

Somehow they find comfort in blaming other people for their misery.

Of course, there are those who use lawyers as a “COMPLEMENT” to their own efforts, and that’s the way it should be. But we’re not talking about them. We’re talking about those who solely depend on others to solve their lives and/or who expect others to give them all the answers they want to hear.

You can ask them, “Why do you want to immigrate to Australia?” and 9/10 times they will answer that they’re leaving their country because their president is ruining the nation. Yes, we’re talking about Venezuelans here. Once again, they’re placing their lives in somebody else’s hands; the hands of Hugo Chavez.

If you’re considering to leave your country, let it be because you WANT TO go somewhere else, not because “somebody else” is “making you” leave. And if you want to come to Australia, let it be because you WANT TO come to Australia for what Australia has to offer, not because it’s the only country willing to take you in.

And most importantly, if you do migrate, leave the past behind you. Embrace this country with its language, its culture, its people, and don’t you dare look back! Embrace the good and the bad and don’t ever fool yourself. No matter how bad you may think things here are, they’re still better, much better than they were in your country . . . and if they’re not, then the problem isn’t Australia; it’s you.

Category: Immigration  Tags: , , , , , ,  2 Comments
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